mecria

Goddess, I ask for guidance. Help me to find my true path.

So lately, I've had this confidence that I've never had before. It showed up a few weeks back when a couple college girls joined me and luis on a bridge while we were fishing. I was actively talking, making jokes, flirting and being flirted with.  At the time, I figured that it was just one of those things that would go away, you know?

It didn't.

I don't know, it just makes me feel....so much different. About everything. I mean, what doors will open up now with this newfound self?

I'm liking it though. Things I used to worry about? I don't anymore. Things I used to not be able to do or say? Not a problem anymore.




I dont plan on it going away anytime soon.

Fucking life. I hate it

I seriously think that the Fates have spun me one relationship thread for my life. Single. How is it that the girls I get along with so well are either A: "just friends" B: 4 years younger than me or C: Don't know how to describe them there.

Worst part? That oh so handy mind trick I use to be able to do, to just sever any emotional tie I had to anyone? Can't do it anymore. If I could, this wouldnt bother me so much. So it truly sucks.

Gods damn it.

What is she thinking? Why won't she let me in anymore? It hurts.

I lied. Yup.

I'm finally past her. Took long enough. Sheesh. Mind you, there's still nothing romantic going on in my life, but I'm finally open to something.

I am so tired of everything. I mean, I can barely control my anger anymore, and most of the time, if I'm not angry, I'm suicidal. Nothing I does fixes this, and the slightest of things can send me down either path in a hairsbreadth. How the hell am I supposed to do anything in life if I can't even control myself?

I just can't take it anymore. I just CAN'T. I'm not going anywhere and I don't care anymore. Whatever's wrong with me is going to get the best of me.

Who isn't even worth trying anymore? I have alot to think about concerning those 2